


Let's Try That Again

by Perfica



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: 1000-3000 words, Alternate Universe, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-22
Updated: 2007-03-22
Packaged: 2017-10-14 11:23:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/148750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perfica/pseuds/Perfica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not everyone's cut out for the porn business.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Try That Again

"Thank you again for seeing me, Ms. Weir," Miko said, her glasses fogging up earnestly.

"It's my pleasure and it's Elizabeth," the managing director of GPFG Studios replied, handing her a cup of herbal tea. "Sam told me you had a some ideas for future features?"

Sam, curled up in a window seat with the week's filming schedule on her lap, smiled encouragingly.

Miko nodded and nervously adjusted the brush she had tucked into her ponytail. "I have very much enjoyed my time working at your studio and in no way want to leave the company or resign from my position as make-up artist but..." her voice dropped conspiratorially. "I have been watching movies."

"Blue movies?" Sam asked. "Our movies?"

Miko blushed and nodded.

Elizabeth bit back a grin. "I should hope so."

"Yes, they are very informative and... _nice_. I like them. A lot. I also have a fondness for certain actors - "

"I've seen you check out McKay's ass," Sam said. "That's nothing to be ashamed of. You could bounce a roll of quarters off his glutes."

"And his skin..." Miko's voice trailed off, dreamingly.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "So, the ideas you have. The movies would involve Rodney?"

Miko licked her lips and took a sip of tea. "Mr McKay would be one of the stars, yes."

"And the other? Is he already on our bankroll?" Sam asked.

"Unfortunately not. He is fairly new to the industry. I have done research," Miko said, pulling open the bulging bag at her feet. Both Elizabeth and Sam leaned forward with interest as Miko proceeded to pile the contents of her bag onto Elizabeth's desk - four gay porn DVD's, twelve full-colour glossy body shots, three black and white head shots, a series of promotional ads from a well-known vodka company and a sheaf of pages that looked like they'd been downloaded from the internet.

"His name is John Sheppard," Miko said, reverently. "He lights up the room."

"Let's have a look, shall we?" Elizabeth said as she turned on the projector while Sam dimmed the office lights.

Half an hour later, the three women sighed and collapsed back into their chairs.

"He's certainly got something," said Sam. "We need to get him. With Sheppard's charm - "

" - and Rodney's charisma - " said Elizabeth.

" - Sheppard's irreverent attitude - "

" - and Rodney's professionalism - "

"We will have sparks!" Miko said, clapping her hands together.

~~~

 _Script #1_

"I see we meet again, Doctor Evil," John said as he loomed menacingly, an eyebrow twitching spasmodically over his eye patch.

Rodney's leather chair squeaked as he turned, and the fluffy white cat he held carefully in his arms hissed at John.

Rodney was naked from the waist down.

John ruined the scene by laughing.

~~~

 _Script #2_

"You must be the new boy, Rodriguez," Rodney said, opening the fake front door to what was supposed to be a luxury mansion.

"I have come to clean your pool," John drawled in an appallingly bad Mexican accent.

"Cut!" Sam screamed.

~~~

 _Script #3_

The locker room scene went well. Both John and Rodney admirably filled their jockstraps. Clothing shed, they retired to the artfully steamed up shower room and proceeded to wash fake dirt from each other's skin as they kissed under the running water.

John stepped forward; Rodney stepped back and slipped on a bar of soap.

"Groin pull!" he shrieked in agony.

John looked on in sympathy as Miko fluttered uselessly around Rodney's prone body.

~~~

 _Script #4_

John pulled up on a motorcycle, black leather pants stretched taut around his thighs. Rodney leaned casually against a wall and watched as John turned off the bike, removed his helmet and tousled his already messy hair.

Rodney smirked seductively.

John hung up his helmet and swung a leg back. The hem of his pants caught on the rear wheel; he twisted awkwardly and fell face first into the road.

Elizabeth gave them time off at half pay until John's stitches had been removed.

~~~

 _Script #5_

The room was full of happy, shirtless men, laughing and dancing under bright, strobing lights.

John and Rodney stood near the front entrance of the fake club.

"We've died and gone to Pet Shop Boys hell," Rodney sneered over the loud music.

"I can't dance," John frowned.

"You couldn't tell me that before? Cut!" Sam shrieked.

~~~

 _Script #6_

"Hi. Is this all you need today?" John asked, pulling a pile of library books towards the scanner.

Rodney bungled his lines twenty-eight times in a row. Sam threw her script across the room and gave them the rest of the day off.

Rodney was mortified. Apparently, the sight of John wearing glasses threw him off completely.

~~~

 _Script #7_

Rodney ground into John's body, pushing him into the rocky wall as the sound of shells fell around them. They kissed with desperation, moaning into each other's mouths as their hands tore at each other's Army uniforms.

Rodney slid to his knees and pressed his face into John's crotch. John zigged when he should have zagged and hit Rodney in the mouth with the butt of his rifle.

"Oh my god!" Rodney yelled while Miko tried to press a handful of tissues against his bleeding lip. "Am I ever going to get your cock in my mouth?"

~~~

 _Script #8_

"Where exactly does it hurt?" Rodney asked, clipboard in hand as he pulled a pen out of the front pocket of his lab coat.

"Right here, Doc," John said, leaning back on the observation table he was straddling and spreading his thighs seductively.

Ten minutes later Rodney was enthusiastically pounding into John's ass while John gazed up adoringly at him, mouth open and eyes half-closed in obvious bliss.

It seemed too good to be true and it was.

The table collapsed under their combined weights. Rodney claimed he'd sprained his dick when it was ripped out suddenly at an unusual angle and refused to work on any other projects, waiting until John had returned from having time off for a bruised coccyx.

~~~

 _Script #9_

John hefted the broadsword in his hand and cleared his throat while one of Miko's assistants rubbed baby oil over his shoulders.

Rodney picked nervously at the gladiatorial breastplate he'd been strapped into while Miko slowly rubbed the same shiny, slick stuff onto his thighs.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Rodney said, voice wavering.

"Sam, what's our insurance like?" John asked, one eyebrow raised.

Sam placed a call to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was down on the set within two minutes.

Everyone got an early mark that day.

~~~

 _Script #10_

"Mhe vhevul; eh uezze ezze," Rodney muttered around the ball-gag wedged in his mouth.

"What did he say?" Sam asked the room in general.

"He said to be careful; he bruises easily," John answered, swinging the paddle in his hand in a desultorily fashion against Rodney's ass.

"I don't think they are liking this," Miko mourned, looking at their disinterested genitals.

It took the three of them fifteen minutes to release Rodney from the bondage gear he'd been strung up in, then they all went out for coffee.

~~~

"It's not your fault," Sam said, patting Miko on the shoulder reassuringly. "You've just had a run of bad luck. And god knows they're not the easiest guys to direct."

"Poor Mr McKay," Miko moaned. "Poor Mr Sheppard. Oh, the injuries they have sustained. They must hate me!"

"They don't hate you. They've been very understanding, actually. They want to make one of your movies and they want to work together. It's just that - "

"Maybe your ideas are a little too...complex?" Elizabeth picked up the slack. "Sometimes, the simplest things can be the most enduring."

"Occam's razor," Sam agreed.

"I don't know what to do," Miko sniffed. "I had such grand plans. The ideas were so good in my head."

"I'm sure they were, Miko. But maybe you have other ideas; ones that aren't quite as detailed? You've watched a lot of films by now. Don't worry about the audience or the usual clichés or about what you think Sam and I would like. What do _you_ want to see?"

~~~

 _Script #11_

The scene opened with Rodney in a bright kitchen, the light rose-warm and fading as dusk started to fall. The curtains hanging around the open windows billowed gently in time with the muted sound of jazz playing in the background.

Rodney was singing under his breath as he sliced vegetables next to a large wok. A purring cat weaved its way between his ankles.

"Later," he said, addressing the cat. "You've still got biscuits."

The sound of key opening the front door made the cat's ears prick up.

"He's not going to feed you either," Rodney said, one corner of his mouth twisting up in a wry grin. The door shut and Rodney heard the sound of a briefcase being dropped on the floor.

"Hey," John said, breathing down the back of his neck.

"You're early," Rodney said, tipping his head back.

John wrapped his arms around Rodney's waist. "Meeting got cancelled."

"Good. You can help me with dinner."

John picked up a sliver of carrot and took a bite, then held it up for Rodney. Rodney took a bite and hummed his thanks as he sliced snowpeas.

"I'm not that hungry," John murmured in his ear.

"Really?" Rodney replied, putting the knife aside and tossing the vegetables into a sink of cool water. "Because I'm starv - "

John's hands slid up Rodney's shoulders and he used them to turn Rodney around, pushing him into the counter as they kissed. Rodney's wet fingers tangled in his hair.

"I'm home," John whispered when they broke the kiss.

"Hello," Rodney whispered back.

"Wanna help me get out of this suit?"

"If I must," Rodney said, grinning as he nipped John's chin.

"Ow," John complained companionably as he followed Rodney into the bedroom.

Rodney had already stripped himself of the T-shirt and track pants he'd been wearing and began to tug off John's clothes, piece after piece being thrown hurriedly to the floor.

"That's my favourite tie," John complained as he helped Rodney undo the cuffs of his business shirt.

"I'll let you use it to tie me up later," Rodney said, pulling an equally naked John with him onto the bed.

They made out for a while; rolling around in the middle of the mattress, legs twisting and hands stroking, rubbing up against each other's bodies. John leant back against the headboard and watched as Rodney's head dipped down into his lap and sucked his cock, slow and sweet, just the way he liked it. He ran his hands over Rodney's hair, his face and down his back until the pleasure became too sharp. Gripping Rodney's biceps, he tugged and rolled them over until he was on top, kissing Rodney with urgency.

Rodney writhed under him, gasping as John licked his way down Rodney's chest, over his nipples, down his belly and across his thighs.

"John," Rodney moaned.

John hummed as he took Rodney into his mouth and sucked hard, wetly; fingers digging into Rodney's trembling thighs.

"Come on," Rodney said thickly. "Do it."

John grabbed the lube from the bedside drawer and went back to sucking, filling Rodney up with his fingers.

"God, you're such a tease," Rodney complained.

John knelt up and dropped a series of dry kisses from Rodney's forehead down to his chin. "And you're so impatient."

Rodney stretched up and kissed him with desperation. "Come on, I want you. Please."

"Okay, Rodney," John said fondly and proceeded to ease his way in.

Their lovemaking was slow; languorous as the light dipping below their windowsill, focussed with the attention of people intent on giving each other pleasure.

John leant up on one elbow and kissed Rodney's soft, open mouth, tongue dipping in and out gently, hips moving with surety. Rodney clutched at his shoulders, then his face; changing their kisses, making them deeper, making them harder.

John grunted and sped up his thrusts, hitting his target with such accuracy that Rodney began to shake and babble beneath him. He closed his eyes and rested his sweaty face against Rodney's neck, groaning in pleasure as Rodney's body pulsated around him.

He sank into Rodney's waiting arms and exhaled with a smile as Rodney pressed kisses into his temple and sideburn.

"And cut," Sam said softly. "Good work, everyone. Let's break for lunch."

Miko stood next to her, eyes teary with joy.

"Wonderful story, Miko," Elizabeth said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Very well done."

"They were _beautiful_ ," Miko whispered.

"That they were," Elizabeth replied, squeezing her close. "How about we give them some time to get themselves together?"

Miko nodded furiously, mind awhirl with fresh ideas. Sam smiled at Elizabeth and followed them off the set, dimming the lights as the rest of the crew crept away quietly, leaving John and Rodney alone together for the very first time.


End file.
